What Would You Say If...

If I told you I liked you? If I hinted it at you, if I sent you a cute little text every so often, and then you told me I was beautiful. Would it be fantasy? A dream that has to end at every morning when I'm awoken?

No. Because sometimes, reality is better than my happiest dreams. You'd invite me for coffee. We'd sit and awkwardly try to have a conversation that seems to have little fumbles. We'd smile at each other and the silence would just be comforting. Then you'd say, "Hey, wanna go to Prom with me?" And I'd smile back and say, "I'd love to." Because this is what happens when you give your heart away. And sometimes, sometimes it's not so bad. Sometimes you find someone who won't take your pretty little heart and rip it up into pieces and throw them into the air. Sometimes, you find people who care about you and would do anything for you, just to see you smile.

And sometimes, you fall for those people.

Seashells and Ocean Salt

As I walk closer into the msyterious abyss, I see the endless waves crash upon the shore. Their strength weakening as they hit the sand and move closer to my feet. I walk along the shoreline and feel that familiar feel of salt climbing onto my skin and breathing it all in. As I look out to the sea, I am reminded of how small I really am and how big this earth really is. I take it all in, trying to imagine where the sand has been, where it has been carried. The beauty of the ocean is never-changing, always a mystery. And I smile to myself, realizing that this is my favorite place in the world.

I can't wait to go back.

I have a joke...

I swear I made this up! We've been learning about birds in my environmental science class and this is something I made up in class one day...

Q: What do you call a bird with tall hair?

A: A Mo-hawk!

hahahahahaha get it?! Because a hawk is a type of bird and someone with a mohawk has tall hair?!

HAHAHAHA! I crack myself up!

The Randomness that Is my Life

the cutest couple ever :)

the love of my life

oh hey

we love each other :)

Kickin' it discipline free

oh hey it's me!

Books!

Prettyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Taking notes on dating...what a joke

My school bag :)

Clearly listening in class...

Converse!

Bible!

Lent Season :)

Sooooooo.....I'm a facebook addict. Not gonna lie. I've decided to give it up for lent this year. My church doesn't really do anything for the lenten season, like having no meat on Fridays, or giving up anything. But I want to. I spend up to 15 hours on average per week on facebook...obviously I've got a problem. But I guarantee the entire world does too.

Anywayyyyy, I have to stay off of it for the next 6 weeks. So that means I'll be on here more because I still need something to vent to :) Hope you all don't mind.

Today being Ash Wednesday, this is when I begin my fast. So far, I'm fine. But no joke, I had a dream last night that I couldn't stay off of facebook and I kept going on and forgetting I was fasting from it. It was actually a nightmare...I'm not making this up.

Last, I just thought I would show you guys some pictures of the paczki's I ate yesterday for Fat Tuesday. Living in an over 80% Polish town is nice...:)

The chocolate ones were definitely the best! These pictures were taken on my new camera and I love the way they turned out!

What's on my Nightstand

So. I love acting and all. But the end of this play and speech team season was a great break from everything. I need time to just go home and enjoy my days. Not nights...like when I normally got home around 9 pm. I've been reading a lot more with all of this time on my hands. However, this may be starting up again...if I make my school musical: Singing in the Rain (best. musical. ever). I want to make it, but at the same time...I want to have a life. And I need a new job. Desperately. I hate working in the food service industry. My job is like smushing a Panera Bread, a Starbucks, and a concession stand all into one. It's the most stressful thing I've ever dealt with and I really need a new job. I'd say two years on a job as a teenager is a good time to quit :)

Alrighty. To the books. I won a 6-word memoir contest at my school-which by the way, I was embarrassingly pointed out at my school's spirit week assembly to get my prize...awkward. And Maggie cheered me on. It made me smile :) But awkward. Still awkward. Oh, and I didn't win. But the second place prize was better anyway. The first place prize was a giant gummy worm...ew. The second place prize was a small bag of gummy worms and...a Barnes and Noble gift card! I was so happy! So I went and bought two books: Viola in Reel Life by Adriana Trigiani and Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler. Okay, so the second one seems kind of iffy. But at the same time, interesting. I normally don't like love stories, but lately I have.

I also am reading I Am Number Four by Pittacus Lore. It's a movie now (which I'm sure you've heard), and I'm going to a book discussion at my public library on the book next Wednesday. I don't know how I'll have time when I have a research paper and a project to do. But oh well. It'll be an adventure.

Last, I have a...puke...disgusting book. Ughhhh the dreaded ACT. How is it even important?! Well okay, I get that it's important. I just hate that everyone's freaking out about it. It's just a test...that determines what college you go to. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. I hope to get around a 24 to 27. A little above average. Unlike my friend who got a 30 on hers...way to make me feel dumb. Anyway, I refused to take the ACT class because of lack of time so I bought this book. Let's see if it actually does anything. Maybe it'll teach me how to fill in bubbles on tests. That's always helpful.

That's Amore

Valentine's Day is about love. It's about showing your significant other, even your family and friends, that you appreciate them. That you care about them.

...but I don't get it. Shouldn't people do that everyday throughout the year? I mean sure, it was fun to receive a heart sticker from my fellow speechie (teammate) in celebration of Valentine's Day and her birthday. And I enjoyed the Buzz Lightyear valentine from my friend. And the Disney princess one (with stickers!) from my grandma. Aaaand the flowers and card from my parents. You're probably expecting me to say I got a lovely surprise from a boy. And that he climbed up the side of my house, climbed into my window, and left a sweet teddybear and roses for me. But this isn't fictional. I don't mean to be bitter, but...Valentine's Day has never gone, how do I put this, successfully (yeah, that's a good way to word it) in the last few years.

Anywaaaaay, shouldn't we always show those that we care about how much we love them? Today in speech class, we went around the room saying what love is. Some had cute, cheesy things to say. Some had stories about their dogs...that made them burst into tears. But one caught my attention. He said, "I don't really understand the point of this day. Because this is the kind of love we should be giving to each other all the time-not just one special day of the year." My thoughts exactly. Don't just set aside one day during the year to show those you love how you feel.

So, back to bitterness. I wrote a paper tonight. Well, I did research for a paper tonight. A lot...of...research. Basically, previous junior students at my school have called it "hell in a paper" and many other things I can't say on here. It's a big eye-opener to those who have never actually done REAL research for a paper. No. Google searches don't count as REAL research. I mean you've got to admit, everybody uses Google. But using it to find all of your research isn't really actually putting in the work to get adequate results. Actually, this is what my paper is about. And I don't want to summarize it anymore so feel free to ask and I'll send you a copy of it. So, I was moved up into Honors English starting this semester. And it's a lot more work. Well, reading some chapters of Huckeberry Finn and then taking a quiz on them isn't exactly more work. We've just done waaaaay more with our research paper than the academic level English classes. I was almost done with my research and about to start the actual rough draft when...

my teacher changed my topic. Completely. Turned it in the opposite direction. So I've spent all weekend researching and beginning to write the paper. But back to this lovely holiday, this is what I was getting to...so....I'm spending my Valentine's Day writing a paper. Not that I like this holiday anyway. Actually, I don't (but I think you already got that vibe a long time ago). So I've sat at my computer doing work for the last three hours. And I think I'm going to explode. So, to celebrate the fact that I've now been single for exactly a year (now let's think about this: A year ago today was Valentine's Day also...), I made cookies. Pretty exciting, huh? Well, it's the most exciting thing that I've done all day so I'm pretty dang excited.